A really big issue I had was in 2019. We were looking for a house, my daughter was turning one, and my mom went through an accident. She had an aneurysm in her brain. So because of that everything has been transformed in my life where she’s no longer the matriarch in my family. Now she’s the child whom we have to take care of her. It was really big because she was the one who we all depended on and the one who we would all run to for help, she was always there for family.
It was something very serious. When we found out that she had fallen unconscious and was in the hospital going through two surgeries that were life and death…You never know what’s going to happen so it was one of the moments where it really put your life into perspective and makes you value family, makes you value what you have here. It makes you value what you dedicate your time to, and it shows what to appreciate however minor it may be.
That was a very challenging time because I’m trying to close a deal on a house, trying to get settled here at PASE because it was my first year here, trying to get settled in a new town, and trying to make my daughter comfortable in a new home. There were a lot of changes in one summer before the school year so I was very stressed out and like it was one of the hardest days in my life.
Now, thank God, everything is alright because the doctors managed to clip the aneurysm and clean up the bleeding in the brain but because of this she has short-term memory loss. Since that day, she requires a 24-hour home care attendant and someone in the family is always present to keep watch on her.
It was life-changing experience. The one person we all depended on needs our assistance even for the basic things. It was challenging for me because first, I lost a person to talk to, to confide in. I lost that relationship. I can’t have the same conversations because she would lose track easily. It was challenging for everyone in the family. I found it most difficult because I’m living here in Passaic and my entire family is in NYC. So the distance did not make it easy. I always need to be in contact with her to make sure everything is okay but also to manage her everyday essentials like her medical check-ups, food supply, bills, etc, since she can’t do that anymore. And I know it’s hard for her too because she never depended on others.
It’s very challenging to have to balance work and life, childcare, relationships, and grad school all at the same time. But that was my mom and I would do anything for her. That experience changed my life completely and I know for her, she would say the same. I learned so much from that experience. I appreciate what I have because I don’t know when it will be taken away.